Apr 12, 2012

Three Fingers of O Negative, Please

It takes a while for us to see new movies over here. It’s not because they aren’t available. They are, both in the theater and online. But if you have qualms with copyright infringement with its accompanying side dish of spyware or are bothered the sheer oddity of George Clooney being voiced by a male soprano speaking lispy Castillano, there’s only one real way to go. You wait for it to come out on DVD. 
Santa Cruz has a Spanish version of RedBox, meaning it’s more expensive, less efficient, and indifferently staffed by cranky chain smokers who may or may not open the main office at the posted times. Still, it does the job. This is how we ended up watching the newest installment of the Twilight Series a few weeks ago. 
Much has been said by me and others about the quality (or lack thereof) of these films, but I have to say I was pleasantly impressed. I concur with Ruyman’s opinions that the movies have been gradually getting better. Considering that, in the original movie, Bella could have just as effectively been played by a long brown wig with Asperger’s, that isn’t saying much, but I’m willing to give credit where it’s due. Even so, I was a little dubious about this filmic adaptation of the fourth book, which happens to be the one I like least. (The main climax of the book is essentially a 20 page CareBear Stare. Really? Did I have to slog through 500 pages just to have people look at each other and then decide to go home? That was the best she could come up with?)
There was one scene in the movie I could really relate with, though. Bella’s pregnant, puking, and getting nutrition through an IV when she decides to try some good old fashioned blood for what ails her. Rather than being disgusted at the idea of drinking human blood, little old pregnant me, wracked with morning sickness (biggest misnomer EVER) found myself musing, “Hmm. That doesn’t sound so bad.”
It’s amazing what I have cheerfully eaten since pregnant. Things that never sounded good prior to being knocked up now taste like nectar of the gods. The following are some examples:
Nacho Cheese Doritoes. I don’t like them. I don’t eat them. But when a neighbor girl was polishing off a bag outside our house, I had to have them. All of them. I ate an entire family-sized bag by myself. Then I felt guilty for eating crap, so I tried to compensate by eating an orange (which I threw up).
Salty snacks like pretzels. Normally, I’m not a salty person so much as a sweets person. But if I can’t get anything else to stay down, something with an excess of sodium is likely to do the trick. I don’t know if it’s because my body is craving iodine, which they don’t add to the salt here, or what. Regardless, I feel like a calf with a salt lick.
Gummy worms. I haven’t had gummy worms since I was maybe 14. At the movies the other day, it was all I wanted in the world. Nothing had ever tasted so good before or since, come to think of it.
So maybe my cravings aren’t quite on the same scale as human blood, but still. It’s weird to have my tastebuds so completely overhauled.

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