Beach-Worthy Bodies

Place: Las Teresitas, Tenerife, Spain

Every summer, magazines at check-out counters advertise the best ways to become “bikini ready.” Excess pounds, cellulite, body hair, frizz, age spots, and tan lines all have to go. Only then can a woman can think about swimsuit shopping, much less going anywhere in one.

Europeans have no such qualms about donning a half yard of lycra and frolicking in the surf. In fact, it’s the total lack of shame that makes a trip to the beach in Tenerife so unique. Pale or dark, old or young, fit or flabby - they’re all there with unabashed enjoyment. Didn’t shave your legs? No problem. Your back hair and your head hair meet in the middle? Welcome! Have some really big bulges in some really strange places? No worries. All are welcome without judgment.

Faces excluded for your protection.

There is one thing that people notice. You can generally tell where people come from by the strength of their tans. Natives of the island are a deep mahogany and pride themselves on their tans. The English and others from the north look like something that crawled out of a deep cave: pale, plump, and soft. Those who have been here a few days are usually a nice fire engine red. Sadly, I am one of that number. Three hours on the beach left my back, chest, and half my face and butt day-glow red. 

I can only wonder how many people here die of skin cancer.